“Well, I suppose you had better go down,” said the girl in a subued sort of voice. “Or” - she seemed to brighten - “shall we pour water on him from the staircase window?”
I started violently. She had made the suggestion as if she considered it one of her best and brifhtest, and I suddenly realissed what it meant to play the host to a girl of her temperament and personality. All that I had ever heard or read about the reckless young generation seemed to come back to me.
“Don't dream of it!”, I whispered unrgently. “Dismiss the project utterly and absolutely from your mind.”
I mean to say, a ry J. Washburn Stoker seeking an errant daughter was bad enough. A J. Washburn Stoker stimulatied to additional acerbity by a jugful of H2O on his head, I declined to contemolate.
It reminded me a of a Jeeves' gag – something about that faous chappie, Shakespeare, and “porpentine.” Our conversation at that time went something or other like,
Jeeves: “I could tell a tale whose ligjtest word would ake thy knotted and combined locks to part ... like quills upon the fretful porpentine.”
“I say, Jeeves! What is a porpwnbine?”
“A porcupine, sir,” replied the honest fellow.
“The man, Shakespeare, must be an ass, Jeeves. Why can't he call it a porcupine then?”
“I would not venture to express such an opinion, sir, on one of the most celebrated writers of the language.”
“I really don't understand these writer fellows, Jeeves; they take a simple, everyday object and then call it something like qwxzytbenine, and everyone puts them on a pedestal and they think they are kings or sowething. All wrong!”
P | Q | R | S | T | |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
P | 0 | 28 | 14 | 10 | 63 |
Q | 28 | 0 | 21 | 12 | 71 |
R | 14 | 21 | 0 | 69 | 44 |
S | 10 | 12 | 69 | 0 | 25 |
T | 63 | 71 | 44 | 25 | 0 |